I've been wanting to blog for a few days, but my internet was out. I have so much to say, but don't really know how to say it. Hopefully I'll be able to sort through my thoughts.
We are done working at the hospital. I think the babies came home, but I haven't been to the baby house to see. I hope so, they were so close! As exhausting and disheartening as it was the first couple of days, I am really glad that I worked there. I got to know some of the mothers and prayed with them. One of the nurses was around my age and we talked some. I really like her and she has such a kind heart. Being there just made me appreciate the things we have in America, the medical care and everything. I had to give my baby medicine. If any of the machines beeped, I would have to get up to get a nurse every time. No buttons to call for them and it wasn't like they weren't around. They simply didn't do their jobs. I am glad that I was there to fight for and care for that baby. He really does have my heart now. I've missed him the past couple of days!
On Saturday Susan got sick. I went to the hospital alone Saturday and Sunday. It wasn't that bad. I just stayed with my baby and then fed and changed the other one when it was time. It was kind of nice actually, because it was different and passed the time better. I was also very proud of myself because I remembered how to get to and from the hospital on my own. I mean, I have people I could have called if I needed directions, but I didn't. I was impressed because usually I am TERRIBLE with directions and get lost everywhere. Also on Saturday, I watched the USA soccer game with the nurses in the other ward. The babies were sleeping, so I just checked in on them whenever there was a delay. The nurses told me that since I am here I need to act like them and cheer for an African team. I said, "No, I cheer for America!" Then, one of them starting humming The Star Spangled Banner. She kept talking about the USA and how she wanted to go there. They all kept laughing at me. I was jumping up and down and groaning and yelling the whole time. USA lost and at the end they said, "Sorry, it's just part of the game." I just shook my head and tried to be a good sport. I was very disappointed, however.
Yesterday, we went with Lindsay and Emily to the Lion Park. We took three of our kids. It was so much fun! We saw animals and walked outside all day. It was really refreshing and fun to see the kids' reactions. Most of the babies don't really go out of the baby house unless they go to the clinic or something. It was also, more than likely, their first time seeing animals. They seemed to really enjoy it and it was good for them to be out and about. The oldest boy we took is at the Toddler House; he is 2. He talked a little bit and would point to the animals if we asked where they were. I tried to get him to pet the giraffe, but as soon as we got close he started wiggling in my arms and whining. He loved to look at it, but wouldn't get closer than 10 feet to it. It was really cute. We really enjoyed it and it was good to see Lindsay and Emily after not seeing anyone from DOH for a week.
This morning started out as a great morning. About mid-day, though, I got very tired, discouraged, and homesick for no reason. I honestly cannot figure out why I started feeling that way. We went to a coffee shop to get Wi-Fi and in my email I found a nice little devotion that spoke right to my heart. I get devotionals sent to me from Proverbs 31 ministries. This one was about finding your sanctuary. It talked about how a sanctuary isn't a place, but it's the presence of Christ and the Father. It used a passage from Psalm 73 and Hebrews 6. The passage from Psalms reminded of another Psalm on my friend Karin's Facebook. The passage from Hebrews was similar to one used by Louie Giglio in his message that Susan and I watched this morning. It was another one of those things where I hear something over and over and finally go, "Oooohhhh! Ok, I get it now, God!" I really loved the message that Louie spoke (it's one of my new favorites, called Un-thinkable). When he read that passage I knew there was a reason that I was listening to it. And I had just told Karin the other day that I loved that verse. It wasn't until in the coffee shop that it all finally clicked. Throughout the past week I saw these scriptures and heard others talk about them, but it wasn't until that moment that it finally came together. When Christ died for us, God tore down the curtain in the Temple. We can now go to the Holy of Holies and meet with God and know God. (Hebrews 6 and 9) When our foot stumbles, His love saves us. (Psalm 94:18) If I am disheartened, God is the strength of my heart and my portion. (Psalm 73:26). It's pretty amazing, isn't it? We are definitely not worthy, but God is pursuing a deep, intimate relationship with us. He wants to be our strength and hope. Jesus suffered on a cross as a sacrifice and then rose from the dead to be the high priest so that we might know God. It's crazy. It's "Un-thinkable."
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."
Psalm 73:26 (ESV)
"When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O LORD, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul."
Psalm 94: 18-19 (ESV)
"But when Christ appeared as a high priest of the good things that have come, then through the greater and more perfect tent (not made with hands, that is, not of this creation) he entered once for all into the holy places, not by means of the blood of goats and calves but by means of his own blood, thus securing an eternal redemption. For if the blood of goats and bulls, and the sprinkling of defiled persons with the ashes of a heifer, sanctify for the
purification of the flesh, how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself without blemish to God, purify our conscience from dead works to serve the living God. Therefore he is the mediator of a new covenant, so that those who are called may receive the promised eternal inheritance, since a death has occurred that redeems them from the transgressions committed under the first covenant."
Hebrews 9:11-15 (ESV)
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